Six years ago this weekend was when we said “I will”. When we got married, we said “I will” instead of “I do”, because we were committing not only what we agreed to for that day – but for all days to come.
I remember when I was a younger, deciding what I was looking for in a spouse. I wanted a man who would love God more than he loved me, but who would love me more than any other woman in the world.
No one said marriage would be easy, and it hasn’t always been. There are ups and downs, but God gives us that strong foundation to face whatever life may throw on our path. I’m so glad I get to go through life hand-in-hand with my best friend who truly desires to lead our family in our walk toward heaven. God’s blessings are countless and beautiful.
Along the way, many older/wiser people have offered us marriage advice in words and example, which I appreciate so much. Here are a few that have stuck with me and continue to teach us…
– Marriage is not 50%/50%. It’s each person giving 100%.
– Laugh and play together.
– You must have open lines of communication for your marriage to thrive.
– Love is not just a feeling – it is a choice.
– Don’t go to bed angry.
– When there is a problem, even if it is 90% the other person’s fault, you still need to apologize for the 10% that is your fault.
– Keep dating after you’re married … be his wife, but also still be his girlfriend.
– Respect the roles God gave for the husband and the wife.
– Give and receive criticism with love.
– Flirt with each other – and with no one else.
– Pray together.
– Men and women are different. Learn to speak and understand each other’s language.
– Grow closer to God and grow closer to each other.
– Make your bed everyday. (Um, yeaaaaah, still not very good at that one!)
We are so imperfect, but I’m so thankful that we have each other to help along the path, to grow and encourage each other. Happy anniversary, Tim, I love you more than I can say!
What marriage advice has someone given you that really stuck with you?
I’m not a wife (yet) but I totally agree with you about “dont go to bed angry” and the communication matter. My boyfriend and I even had a conversation over “don’t go to bed angry”. We make a deal that all kind of problems must be solved and shared between we go to bed. Sleeping with anger would just make the situation worse without healing it
As it says in Eph 5:26… “let not the sun go down upon your wrath” :) Thanks Anh :)
You are the only one you can change.
Goodwill and respect = love.
Successful marriage means being absolutely committed to the premise that we WILL work it out, whatever it is. Divorce is simply not an option.
Any two people can have a good marriage if they follow God’s principles. Every marriage may not be a GREAT marriage, but it can be very good, and many more than many people think can be great.
All great ones, thanks, Lori :)
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you:)
Completely solve each problem as they come along. Don’t let them pile up. Kiss and make up:)
Ohh, yes! Thanks Mom :)
Congratulations on your six years of marriage! Every single year is an achievement and to be celebrated, especially in our current cultural thinking when serial monogamy seems to be what the so-called celebrities practice. I love the advice you are following and sharing! We have just celebrated 35 years of marriage. WOW that sounds a long time – and it is! So I wrote a little about the five things I’ve learnt in the years I have been (mostly) happily married. You can read about them here: http://www.ministriesbydesign.org/2012/07/18/5-lessons-from-35-years-of-marriage-plus-the-photo/
and see the photo – positively historic!!
Great advice … and I enjoyed your pictures, Penelope, thanks! :)
Hi April, i write you only for say you “congratulation for your anniversary! ” :D
Aw, thanks Fede! :D
Congrats on 6 years! We’re about to hit #7! It CAN be done! Ha!
We had little “give us your 2 cents” cards at our reception. My favorite was “Always be the first to apologize.”
Ooh, great 2 cents! Neat idea, too, for your reception :)
Congratulations on the 6 year mark!
And the things you’ve named are all great advice.
To me an important thing to do (and still learn) is to support your partner in the things that are difficult to him/her, instead of enforcing those difficult things.
Yay for 6 years of marriage! That is some awesome advice!
Thanks! I’m looking forward to many more, Lord willing :)
The best advise I ever received was to think of my husband as a friend. When he did something that upset me, how would I handle it if it was one of my friends? That is the same way, that I should respond toward my mate.
Another tip that worked wonders, was to make a list of all of my spouse’s positive traits and what drew me to him when we were dating. When I am having a hard time thinking positively of him, I pull out my list and remember one of those positives. I then verbally compliment him on that, in a loving way. I may not feel it at the time, but it turns my mindset back to a positive tone.
It is amazing to me that we would never cut off loving one of our children, whom we did not get to choose, yet think that we can stop acting in a loving way toward the spouse that we chose and committed to for life!
Always remember to treat your husband with respect! Without it, he feels unloved. We chose never to argue, or correct each other, in front of our children. When they could tell that there was a disagreement, I made sure to tell them after we had made it right that it had been made right so that they would learn some of the conflict resolution skills that we had acquired.
Pray for each other! Not for God to change the other, but to bless them and change you to be the best helpmate that you can be!