Hello friends!
Well, despite a couple very half-hearted attempts to revive my blog, it has been sitting dormant for almost two years. In some ways I’m rather embarrassed about that, but in other ways, I’m not embarrassed at all. It’s been a difficult couple years, and honestly, there have been more important things that truly needed to take precedent. But as things are rolling into a little easier phase now, I feel I can again pick up blogging — and I’m looking forward to it! As for the last couple years, though, I’d like to share what has been going on … and what it is that I mean by a “flourishing abode”.
There was a time a little over a year ago when I was considering whether I could get back into blogging.
It didn’t end up working out. But I do remember one thing that struck me, as I considered my little online domain … the name of my blog. “The Flourishing Abode”. I looked around at my life – and it struck me that some people might not call it “flourishing”.
In the past few years, there has been a lot of upheaval….
There have been times where we had no idea where our income would come from or where we would be living. We’ve had job changes, and we’ve moved several times in the last few years … the last time was a very sudden move this summer which was not by our own choice, but circumstances outside our control. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, and we love where we are now — but there were scary moments not knowing what was going to happen. Over and over again, when things were unknown, we were blessed with what we needed and more, even if it was difficult or different than we had planned. But to an observer’s eye, the word “flourishing” probably isn’t what would come to mind to describe our physical situation over the last few years.
In the past few years, our marriage has gone through a time of change….
There was crisis – serious crisis. But we came out of it on the other side with a deeper and happier love than ever before … and it’s because long before either of us took vows to love each other, we each committed to love God more than anything else. It was that first love, and being true to it, that carried us through the hard times, through the tears and heartache, to the other side where we could actually overcome the crisis. And now, we are happier and more in love than I could have imagined, and I am constantly amazed by what a wonderful husband I have. But in the middle of the hard times, it didn’t look like or feel like “flourishing”.
In the past two years, my family has experienced the joy of birth – and ache of death…
In August of last year, our daughter Evangelene was born into this world. A few months later, in November, my brother Adam passed from this world in a tragic drowning accident at the young age of 25. Evangelene and Adam never got to meet. We were going to get to see Adam just a little later in November … but it never happened. My little brother was gone. And yet … not lost. He was first and foremost a child of God. His determination to serve God defined him. He also had an incredibly silly sense of humor, he was a talented musician, and very athletic. But those things are not what defined him. It was his faith in God.
A year later, I still miss him terribly … I wish he could call me on the phone and do his ridiculously accurate Chewbacca impression or recite random facts on my voice mail about African elephants (yes, he’d done that before).
That won’t happen now.
But there is a much greater hope: “But I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.” 2 Timothy 1:12
And that gets back to what it means to flourish. When I describe our home as a flourishing abode, I don’t mean there are no hard times. I don’t mean we always have tons of money. I don’t mean that there aren’t tears, heartache or sadness. Those things happen.
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. … So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
(2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 16-18 ESV)
A lot of things may crumble around us … but the “inner self” can still be “renewed day by day”. That is how I want to flourish.
When I first started this blog, I initially considered naming it “The Flourishing Home”, but I chose Abode instead, because it sounds more temporary. Where we are right now — this apartment, this body, this life — is just a temporary abode. Sure, there are hard things sometimes. The last few years have been the hardest of my life so far- and I’m sure there will be other hard times ahead. But even in the midst of it, we can flourish, because we are not alone. There is One who will take us to our true home someday, when this temporary life is over. It is that hope and focus that can make a home flourish, whatever comes. It’s not just a catchy title, it’s my goal. To flourish in this temporary abode, because I know what I have believed, and I AM persuaded that He is able to keep me until that last day.
Here is a verse that has long been a favorite of mine … I’ve read it over and over and over again.
This is how and where I want our family to flourish…
That also ties into the verse I have on the banner at the top of my blog: “A merry heart has a continual feast.” (Proverbs 15:15) It’s not, “the one who has a physical feast on the table has a continual feast” or “the one who has an easy time in life has a continual feast.” It’s the one with a merry heart … the one who chooses to see the joy, whatever is on their figurative plate.
And lest this seem like a dreary post about how hard life has been in the last couple years … things are really wonderful right now. I even have enough time to get back into blogging! As my friend Lori Biesecker says, life is full of mountains and valleys. I’ve recently been through some difficult valleys, but right now I’m enjoying a peaceful mountain top. And I’m sure, for as long as the Lord lets me continue in this trek through life, there will be more valleys and more mountains. But He is there through all of it, and that is a blessing beyond words. That is the reason to have a merry heart, and to flourish, whether there are mountains or valleys along the way.
Thanks for sticking around with me. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below, even if it’s just a “hello!”
April,
Your words are so comforting and edifying. I really am so glad your deciding to blog again because you really do have a talent for words and relaying God’s message. We didn’t have too much time to get to know each other while you guys lived in Knoxville, but your family is so encouraging and you set such a great example for young couples. We love it when you come for a visit! Keep writing!
Sara Griffis
Thanks Sara! Yeah, I wish we could have gotten to know each other more in Knoxville – it’s cool to see the pictures of you and Amanda hanging out on Facebook. :) Thanks for your encouraging words .. and I hope we’ll be back in the area some time! :)
I was feeling down…. and your words lifted me up. Thank you for pointing me back to our Father and being a great example. You skillfully show how the word of God touches our daily lives and gives us hope! Thank you for sharing!
Sorry you’ve been feeling down, Cameron … and thank you for your encouraging words :) It’s been fun chatting with you lately!
Welcome back April :) I always enjoyed seeing the pretty things you made and I look forward to once again reading your blog!
Thanks, Teri! I’m excited to get back into it! :)
So much love from me to you.
And love sent your way as well. :)
Absolutely beautiful!!! You and your family have been a wonderful example to the world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. They are spot on and brought me to tears. :’)
Stacey, thanks so much for your kind words … posting something like this always feels very vulnerable and kind of scary – so thank you for your encouragement. :)
My dear friend, I pray you will have a long stroll on a flat-topped mountain range for a good while to come. You are ever in my heart. I am glad to see you writing again.
I must admit, I’m hoping this mountain lasts for awhile, myself. ;)
April, this is so beautiful. I admire you and your family so much, you have been an encouragement to me. I’ve been thinking a lot about Proverbs 15:15 recently as well! Love, Emily
I love that verse! And thank you. Hope to see you sometime before too long! We’ll be in NYC next week, so hope to see you then!
I’m glad your back! I think you have a way with words and I really appreciate you sharing your life. You are an encouragement to me!
Aw, I’m really touched by that, Angela. I’ve loved writing ever since I was a kid – but I tend to pick everything apart so much after I write it, that I’m then no longer sure what I think about it! So thanks, that means a lot. :)
I was so excited to see “The Flourishing Abode” show up in my inbox this morning!!!!
Thanks so much Lisa! It’s so nice to know you remembered and recognized my blog! And sorry with the hiccups with comments this morning – I know they weren’t showing up at first!
I was so happy to see “The Flourishing Abode” show up in my in box this morning!!
My dear friend, I am so pleased to see you writing again in your honest and hopeful voice. God bless you and those who share your flourishing abode!
Thanks, Lori. I’m so glad your blog is up and running again too!
I’m so happy to see you back! I think we all go through seasons, and you’ve had one of those really tough seasons. My husband and I had a few years that really sucked the life out of our little family and honestly, made me question every aspect of my life and every decision I had ever made. It was awful, but through it all, my faith grew stronger. Despite all the things that were spiraling out of control, God was the only thing that remained unchanged. He was all I had to lean on.
I admire you for taking as long as you needed to focus on your family. Welcome back, and God bless!
I think you’re very right about seasons. There is no guarantee that things will always be easy – in fact we’re pretty much guaranteed that there will be hard times. But like you said, being able to know that God is unchanging throughout is such a comfort. :)
This is so incredibly beautiful..thank you for sharing such deep things.
Thanks so much, Chelsea … it’s so nice to see people around even after two years! :)
Welcome back! :D
Thanks, Yvette! Sorry there was a delay on comments showing up – but it is up now! :)
Welcome back! :)
Welcome back April! As I read this post I did not think it was dreary at all but inspiring and very much a real life story (good & bad, defeat & victory) – I could feel my body relax & release tension I’ve felt these past few days regarding stuff going on in my own life ….Thank you.
P.S. Congratulations & condolences to you & your family – life is “full of mountains and valleys”.
May the Lord bless The Starr Family & keep you,
May the Lord smile on The Starr Family and be gracious to you,
May the Lord show The Starr Family his favor and give you peace (shalom). – Numbers 6:24-26 (with some paraphrasing by me!)
That is simply beautiful, Raye – thank you. :)
What a beautifully written story. Thanks for sharing and so glad you are back.
This summer Jeremih 17:8 really screamed out at me, I guess you could say I realized I was not “flourishing”
Ah, thanks Molly. And that’s a beautiful verse.
“He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
Thank you for sharing some of your ups and downs. We all have them. That’s real life. It’s what we do with them that defines us. Your family was prayed for after Adam’s passing. He’s missed greatly by so many.
Thank you so much, Becky. It has been such an amazing comfort to know how much Adam is loved and remembered. :)
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story April. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my younger brother as well a few years ago. I feel your pain. But they are not lost are they? We know exactly where they are. Dancing and worshiping in Heaven awaiting our arrival. Looking forward to that reunion!
“They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them”.
– Psalm 112:7 (NLT)
I’m sorry to hear of your loss as well, Suzy. But yes – a beautiful verse and comfort. :)
Dear April,
I was so excited to see your post come to my mail box today!! I have prayed for you often since your last post. Many times I wanted to write to you but decided not to intrude knowing something (hopefully wonderful) was keeping you from blogging.
You are an inspiration, my friend. I love the transparency in what you have shared – the good along with the difficult. “Life Happens” to us all! and many of our stories are difficult like yours. We are not alone – Job who went before us shared from his heart in… about chapter 42 that before his trials he had known of God but after – or as a result of them he has SEEN God!! I can relate to Job and it sounds like perhaps you can as well. It is difficult to loose (sometimes it feels like everything) but in these trials there is the opportunity to gaining a deeper walk with Jesus – reaping eternal rewards!
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your brother. I will continue to pray for you and your family that Jesus will heal your hearts.
I praise Him that as you journey toward home you are blessed to do so with a faithful husband and two BEAUTIFUL little girls!!
Wherever He takes you in the next chapter of your adventure I pray that He will lead you in peace and JOY!!
Your friend,
Patti
Thank you, Patti. That means so much to me that you have been thinking of me in my absence, I’m really touched. :) Thank you!
Wow! What a great post – for more reasons than I can explain! Thank you for sharing and for inspiring!
Thanks Betty! Good to hear from you! :)
I didn’t read your blog before — didn’t know it was there! — but I really enjoyed this renewal post. Thank you so much for your expression of faith and your decision to choose joy, whatever the circumstances.
Thanks, Crystal! I used to write on here 3x a week, but it’s definitely been awhile. Thanks for stopping by!! :)
Welcome back, April! I’m sooo waiting for your post and I’m glad it’s happening! God bless you abundantly!
Thanks Luci!! Love your enthusiasm, it gave me a big grin. :D Thanks! :)
Hi April, so good to have your post in my e-mail. Though I am sorry to know about your brother but I am so in-sync with your thoughts regarding flourishing abode. I landed on your blog in October 2013, in search of building a website for my blog, I found it very helpful and wanted to thank you for that. But I sensed you have been there long time back, so to let know of your presence, I subscribed to your blog posts and remained silent till I received this post. I am glad you are back and from the core of my heart I want to thank you for your help, you did indirectly and unknowingly. God bless your sweet family world :)
Thank you, Tara. I’m so glad you found those posts helpful! Just checked out your site – very cool. Love the name! And thanks for your encouraging words, I really appreciate it. :)
Hello and welcome back! I’m a 55 year old newbie to blogging, trying to launch a site in January for my middle aged friends. I have found your tips tremendously helpful and will utilize them in my blog. And I love your outlook on life. At 55, I am still struggling to launch three sons,(mothering never DOES end,) and I can tell you that the valleys are much easier travelled with God as guide. Thank you for your generosity, and I look forward to reading your page in the future!
I’m so glad you found those posts helpful! I think that series has been the most popular on my blog. Fun to think there are other blogs out there that have had a little input from my posts. :) And thank you for your kind words and encouragement. :)
April,
With your perspective and sunny attitude – and especially your true faith – I cannot wait to see where the Lord brings you in life! Thanks for taking us along on the journey! Keep posting!
Thanks, Keyne. And thanks for being such a great friend. :)
Lovely <3 You are an encouragement to me, my dear :) 3 John 4 – No greater joy :)
love,
mom (Bertina)
Love you too Mom. :)
Is the graphic verse featured above available through your website?
Ah, no … that one is not a printable, just a small image for the post. As I was making it, though, I realized I would enjoy having a bigger version printed and to put up here at home, so I may make a larger printable version sometime :)
Love to you and yours.
Love you too, Dad :)
It is always refreshing to be reminded that life is fleeting and we have a choice of how we react to the challenges it brings. Thanks for such an encouraging post!
Hello!
It made me smile when I saw ‘Flourishing Abode’ come through my email. I’m happy you are back and looking forward to all you have to share with us!
You are right – we can flourish, wherever we abide :) Blessings to you and your family!
This comment is a long overdue. Thank you for this heartfelt post. You, your faith, your family, and your blog are all great encouragements to me! I’m glad you’re continuing to shine your light and share His word through your amazing blog.